Your parent may want to stay at home for as long as possible, and the right help at the right time can make that possible. Changes usually come slowly, so they are easy to miss, especially if you live far away or visit mostly on holidays.
Here are signs worth watching for, and what to do if you notice them.
Signs to watch for
Daily care
- Meals are skipped, the refrigerator holds spoiled food, or your parent has lost weight.
- Bathing, grooming, or changing clothes happens less often than it used to.
- The home is less tidy than usual, or laundry and dishes pile up.
Memory and routine
- Mail goes unopened, bills are unpaid or paid twice, or there are unusual purchases.
- Prescriptions run out, or medicines are missed.
- Appointments are forgotten.
Safety
- New bruises, burns, or a fall, even a small one.
- Trouble getting up from a chair, using the stairs, or getting in and out of the tub.
- New dents on the car, or trouble finding familiar places.
Mood and connection
- Pulling back from friends, clubs, or a place of worship they used to enjoy.
- Seeming unusually quiet, worried, confused, or agitated, or calling at odd hours.
- Friends or neighbors say they are concerned.
One sign alone may not mean much. Several signs together, or a sudden change, are worth acting on. Some changes have medical causes, so a visit to your parent’s doctor is a good first step.
How to talk with your parent about getting help
- Pick a calm time, and talk one to one or with one other family member.
- Start with what you have noticed and how you feel, not with a plan: “I’ve noticed the mail piling up, and I worry about you.”
- Ask what matters most to them. Many parents worry that help means losing independence. Explain that a few hours of help can make staying at home easier.
- Offer small steps first. Help with errands or housekeeping a few times a week can be an easier start than daily care.
- Include your parent in every decision, and give it time. It may take more than one conversation.
What kind of help fits
Loneliness, missed meals, housework and errands slipping
Companion Care: company, meals, light housekeeping, and errands.
Trouble bathing, dressing, or moving around safely
Personal Care: hands-on help with bathing, dressing, grooming, and mobility.
Memory loss, confusion, or getting lost
Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care: steady routines and familiar faces.
Needing someone there day and night
24/7 Care & Support: care scheduled around the clock.
A family caregiver who needs a break
Respite Care: from a single afternoon to a few weeks.
Next steps
- Write down what you have noticed and when. It helps when you talk with the doctor and with any care provider.
- Book a check-up with your parent’s doctor if anything has changed quickly.
- Get a free care assessment. A care coordinator visits your parent at home, talks with your family, and recommends a personalized care plan.
- Talk about cost early. Eligible seniors enrolled in Medicaid may receive In-Home Services at no cost, based on eligibility and assessed need. Our Paying for Care page explains private pay, long-term care insurance, and Medicaid.
How European Service can help
European Service is a licensed, non-medical home care agency serving DuPage, Kane, Kendall, and Northern Cook counties from offices in Lombard, Aurora, Niles, and Elgin. Our caregivers and office staff speak Russian, Ukrainian, Polish, Spanish, Albanian, Macedonian, Serbian, Bosnian, Bulgarian, and Lithuanian. We can usually begin care within 48 hours, or later if you’d like to meet your caregiver first.
Call (630) 785-2521, Monday–Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., or request a free care assessment. To find the office nearest your parent, see Locations.